Episode 97. The Customized Tellarite Dermalizer
Context
- Coordinated Universal Time
- Friday, October 18, 2024 - 19:10
- Location
-
- Tellar Prime
- Zorek Spaceport
- K'hoka Khol'a's Cafe-Cabaret
- Dressing Room
- Timeline
- Schak'Irra Timeline
- Previously
-
On Tellar Prime, Enterprise's crew found itself a mechanic, Gornok, the grumpiest man on the planet, ready to repair the ship on condition that he be paid in latinum, a currency as rare as it is anachronistic. To raise the sum, Agnes Rodriguez and her team accepted K'hoka Khol'a's deal, a runaway Orion woman with venomous charm: organize an evening in her cabaret, L'Étoile Diamantée des Astres Pétillants, where the team will have to drop the uniform to entertain a wealthy Ferengi fond of exotic shows.
Characters
| Name | Affiliation / Branch | Title / Rank | Species | Timeline of Origin |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Agnes V. Rodriguez | NATO / Special Fleet | Captain | Human | Schak'Irra Timeline |
| Angie Chen | NATO / Special Fleet | Commander | Human | Schak'Irra Timeline |
| Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi | Starfleet / Temporal Division | Commander | Andorian | Prime Timeline |
| T'Met | Starfleet / Temporal Division | Captain | Vulcan | Prime Timeline |
| Robert Gomard | NATO / Army | Colonel | Human | Schak'Irra Timeline |
| K'hoka Khol'a | Independent | Étoile Diamantée des Astres Pétillants | Orion | Schak'Irra Timeline |
Manifest
| USS Enterprise | |
|---|---|
| Affiliation | NATO |
| Location | Docked at Zorek Spaceport |
| Captain | Agnes V. Rodriguez |
| First Officer | Angie Chen |
| Artificial Intelligence | Lingua (Unofficial) |
| Pilot | Eric Corda |
| Communications | Emilie Flores |
| Operations | Charlene Savea |
| Tactical | Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi (Unofficial) |
| Science | T'Met (Unofficial) |
| Advanced Weapons | Eros Vitos |
| Security | Robert Gomard (Unofficial) |
| Sickbay | Victor S. Calpel |
| Counselor/Consultant | Manu |
| Custodian | Manu |
| Passengers |
Robert Gomard's squad 4 Vulcan survivors from Schak'Irra Emmanuel Macron |
| Detainees | Vladimir Joseph Putin and his bodyguards |
| Ground Team |
Agnes V. Rodriguez Angie Chen Robert Gomard Tarsi T'Met |
TL;DR
A few hours before the Ferengi customer's arrival, K'hoka begins preparing the show. Problem: none of the volunteers has the slightest experience in this field. Fortunately, the Orion woman owns a miracle machine: the Tellarite Dermalizer, an antique beauty device with spectacular side effects. Before the team's astonished eyes, Angie Chen becomes the first test subject. What was supposed to be a simple cosmetic treatment turns into an almost mystical experience: dimmed light, strangely skillful robotic arms, and a concert of moans that even makes Tarsi's antennae blush. When the machine opens, Angie emerges transformed, golden skin, erased scars, and a sparkling glow worthy of a goddess. Faced with such a miracle, Agnes and Tarsi no longer hesitate: they take their turns in the machine. Only T'Met, impassive, watches the scene without moving.
Story
With the plan to extract latinum from a Ferengi approved unanimously, all that remains is to prepare. The task proves difficult, because none of us has ever been a stripper. Fortunately, K'hoka Khol'a has the experience and accessories to make the evening a success.
K'hoka Khol'a
The customer will arrive in two short hours. We have very little time to transform you.
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
You do not have staff to handle the room?
K'hoka Khol'a
Yes, there is a small Tellarite waitress who comes to help me, but tonight is her day off. We will have to manage without her.
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Where do we start?
K'hoka Khol'a
You and the little brunette, start by removing your clothes.
Cmdr. Angie Chen (Number One)
Uh, me? Why?
Col. Robert Gomard (Army)
Whoa there, I am curious to see that...
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Robert, go check the room and see if we are there...
Col. Robert Gomard (Army)
Oh... All right, Agnes, I understand... Grr...
K'hoka Khol'a
Wait, Colonel.
Col. Robert Gomard (Army)
What is it, K'hoka?
K'hoka Khol'a
Take these few strips of latinum. They are my savings. You will use them during the show to bid up the customer's offers.
Col. Robert Gomard (Army)
Ah, that I can do. I will wait for you at a table. Do not take too long.
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
Poor Robert. Hee hee hee.
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Do not worry about him. You will not be laughing so much when he starts ogling you. So, where were we?
Cmdr. Angie Chen (Number One)
We were at the point where K'hoka was asking us to uncover ourselves!
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Oh yes, uh, why exactly?
K'hoka Khol'a
I do not know the morphology of your species. I need to make sure the outfits and accessories I select for you are adequate.
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Uh, all right.
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
Heeey, T'Met and I stay dressed?
K'hoka Khol'a
The anatomy of Andorian and Vulcan women is not unfamiliar to me, but you will also have to undress so you can go through the Dermalizer.
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
The what?
Capt. T'Met
It seems to me that it is a Tellarite device of ancient origin that degreases the body.
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
Uh, no, thank you. Not for me. I intend to keep my figure.
K'hoka Khol'a
You are right, Captain T'Met, but the previous owner of the device added a few features, such as hair removal, concealment of various imperfections, skin coloring, glitter application, and so on.
Capt. T'Met
Fascinating.
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Basically, it is a grooming machine for showgirls.
K'hoka Khol'a
Among other things. It also has the ability to heal wounds and make scars disappear.
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Did you hear that, Angie? You have been trying for years to get rid of yours. This is the perfect opportunity.
Cmdr. Angie Chen (Number One)
Yeah, well, I will believe it when I see it. I have gone through so many quack treatments that I do not really believe in them anymore.
K'hoka Khol'a
Let me see.
Cmdr. Angie Chen (Number One)
I am warning you, it is not pretty to look at.
K'hoka Khol'a
Hmm, let us see. Surgical wounds inflicted without your consent. Those who did this to you knew what they were doing. Is that correct?
Cmdr. Angie Chen (Number One)
Grr... Yeah...
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
That is correct. Russians tortured her about ten years ago.
K'hoka Khol'a
Russians? I do not know this species.
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
They are humans like us, part of a rival nation. Can you heal her?
K'hoka Khol'a
Of course. Commander Chen, please step into the machine. I will program it.
Cmdr. Angie Chen (Number One)
Are you sure there is no risk?
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Go on, Angie. Worst case, you come out as a bag of bones. Ha ha ha.
Cmdr. Angie Chen (Number One)
Do not make fun of me, breadboard!
Angie steps into the opaque glass cylinder. Inside, glowing panels with shifting colors create a particularly soothing atmosphere. Angie stands upright, arms and legs slightly spread on a rotating platform. When the door closes, K'hoka starts the process. A hum begins, and shadows of robotic arms can be seen emerging from the walls and moving in every direction.
Cmdr. Angie Chen (Number One)
Aaaaaah... Yeeeeeessss... Oooh my God... Mooooore!
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Are you all right, Angie?
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
She seems to be having the time of her life.
Cmdr. Angie Chen (Number One)
Hee-haw, hee-haw... Ho, ho, ho, yahoooooo!
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Uh, K'hoka, what is happening?
Cmdr. Angie Chen (Number One)
Ride on, baby! Mooooore! Harder! Aaaaaaah!
K'hoka Khol'a
Everything is going as planned. The Dermalizer has probably awakened certain senses in your officer... There, the process is ending...
The machine stops shaking. The door opens, and a plume of thick smoke pours out. Inside, Angie staggers toward us.
Cmdr. Angie Chen (Number One)
Hic! I guarantee you, that thing is the invention of the millennium... My little K'hoka, I will trade it for my entire collection of dildos...
K'hoka Khol'a
What is a dildo?
Capt. T'Met
A dildo is a phallic-shaped human toy intended to provide sexu...
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Uh, thank you, T'Met. We do not need the details. My God, Angie, look at yourself! It is incredible! Your scars are gone and your skin is smooth and golden.
Cmdr. Angie Chen (Number One)
Huh, uh, ooooh. Aaah yes. Fantastic. Even my body hair made a run for it! What are those little things sparkling and forming patterns?
K'hoka Khol'a
They are flakes of driconium leaf. They are found only on the surface of Tellar Prime.
Cmdr. Angie Chen (Number One)
K'hoka, I have to kiss you! It is magnificent!
K'hoka Khol'a
You are welcome. We must not waste time. Captain Rodriguez, it is your turn.
Given the splendid result obtained on Angie's body, Tarsi and I no longer hesitate to take our turns in the machine. Only T'Met stays aside, watching us with an impassive expression.