Episode 98. Corset, Thong, Tutu and Hula Hoop...
Context
- Coordinated Universal Time
- Friday, October 18, 2024 - 8:38 PM
- Location
-
- Tellar Prime
- Zorek Spaceport
- K'hoka Khol'a's Cafe-Cabaret
- Dressing Room
- Timeline
- Schak'Irra Timeline
- Previously
-
Since their warp escape, USS Enterprise has been drifting far from Earth. After a miraculous recovery, Captain Agnes Rodriguez resumed command and unified the human survivors with those from the 26th-century vessel, Schak'Irra. Seeking help to repair Enterprise, the crew reached Tellar Prime, where Agnes's diplomacy earned them docking rights at Zorek Spaceport. There, they met Gornok, a Tellarite mechanic as competent as he is grouchy, ready to patch up the ship... provided he is paid in latinum, a currency that is not supposed to circulate in this corner of the galaxy in this era. To raise the sum, Agnes accepted the help of K'hoka Khol'a, an Orion woman as charming as she is mysterious, who proposes a plan as absurd as it is necessary: dancing in her cabaret, L'Étoile Diamantée des Astres Pétillants, to charm a Ferengi customer fond of exotic shows.
Characters
| Name | Affiliation / Branch | Title / Rank | Species | Original Timeline |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Agnes V. Rodriguez | NATO / Special Fleet | Captain | Human | Schak'Irra Timeline |
| Angie Chen | NATO / Special Fleet | Commander | Human | Schak'Irra Timeline |
| Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi | Starfleet / Temporal Division | Commander | Andorian | Prime Timeline |
| T'Met | Starfleet / Temporal Division | Captain | Vulcan | Prime Timeline |
| Robert Gomard | NATO / Army | Colonel | Human | Schak'Irra Timeline |
| K'hoka Khol'a | Independent | Étoile Diamantée des Astres Pétillants | Orion | Schak'Irra Timeline |
Manifest
| USS Enterprise | |
|---|---|
| Affiliation | NATO |
| Location | Docked at Zorek Spaceport |
| Captain | Agnes V. Rodriguez |
| First Officer | Angie Chen |
| Artificial Intelligence | Lingua (Unofficial) |
| Pilot | Eric Corda |
| Communications | Emilie Flores |
| Operations | Charlene Savea |
| Tactical | Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi (Unofficial) |
| Science | T'Met (Unofficial) |
| Advanced Weapons | Eros Vitos |
| Security | Robert Gomard (Unofficial) |
| Sickbay | Victor S. Calpel |
| Counselor/Consultant | Manu |
| Custodian | Manu |
| Passengers |
|
| Detainees | Vladimir Joseph Putin and his bodyguards |
| Ground Team |
|
TL;DR
After the transformation performed by the Dermalizer, the team moves to the next phase: costumes and rehearsals. K'hoka unveils an outrageous wardrobe and teaches the trio dance moves, somewhere between burlesque numbers, a hula hoop for T'Met, and suggestive choreography. Angie, Agnes, and Tarsi practice coordinating their movements while K'hoka adjusts makeup and accessories. The rehearsal is interrupted by Gomard, who announces the customer's arrival.
Story
Now that the Dermalizer had treated and enhanced our bodies, we immediately move on to the next step in preparing our plan: finding appropriate outfits and learning a few dance moves. K'hoka Khol'a pulls back a curtain to reveal her wardrobe, filled with unusual, eccentric, and sometimes extremely revealing outfits. T'Met picks up what appears to be a lace thong and holds it in front of her, raising a questioning eyebrow.
Capt. T'Met
It is illogical to think that wearing this type of clothing will persuade a Ferengi to part with his latinum.
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
Since when are Vulcans experts in seductive outfits?
Capt. T'Met
Vulcans have expertise in functional clothing, and the psychological study of living beings is one of their specialties.
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
Well, tell me something I do not know. It took the emergence of humans to loosen up your species. And I am being kind...
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Whoa, do not argue. We have a show to prepare. K'hoka, are these the clothes we are supposed to put on?
K'hoka Khol'a
Yes, choose from my wardrobe. Whatever you choose, keep in mind that the customer will pay according to your performance.
Capt. T'Met
Correct. The Ferengi will never pay more for an acquisition than it is worth.
Cmdr. Angie Chen Number One
Huh?
Capt. T'Met
It is one of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition.
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
That also means we have to go all out.
Cmdr. Angie Chen Number One
Uh, we are not merchandise. We do the striptease, grab the bling, and get out!
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
You obviously don't know Ferengis. In their eyes, females are nothing more than maids. And since we are only in the 21st century, it is a safe bet that the one we will try to charm is a hardcore sexist!
Cmdr. Angie Chen Number One
He can count himself lucky there are no cucumbers left in Enterprise's provisions hold, or I'd guarantee you...
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Angie! Just choose an outfit!
Cmdr. Angie Chen Number One
No, Agnes, do not tell me we are going to let an underdeveloped alien treat us this way!
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
I don't care! Either you play along, or I will have you replaced by Emilie!
Cmdr. Angie Chen Number One
Go ahead! With her, at least, all you have to do is put an empty bowl in the middle of the stage and she will put on the show!
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
I do not know what you are talking about, but I found my outfit. Ta-daaaaaam! Feast your eyes!
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Uh, what is that?
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
You do not like it?
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
Well... uh... yes. It's... uh... dazzling. I am mostly surprised by how quickly you put on all those feathers.
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
I did not put anything on at all. It is a holographic projection generated by my implant. So, do you like it?
Cmdr. Angie Chen Number One
I like it. Besides, I love that old-school burlesque look.
After we'd picked our outfits, K'hoka Khol'a begins teaching us dance moves and how to remove our clothes as suggestively as possible. Angie, Tarsi, and I learn quickly. As for T'Met, she remains perplexed and still doesn't seem to grasp the point of it all.
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
Come on, T'Met, you have to move!
Capt. T'Met
I am trying to understand the purpose of the movements K'hoka Khol'a is teaching us.
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
If you were less frigid, you would understand! It is not that complicated!
Let us start from the beginning!
♪♫ You put your hips in,
♪♫ You put your hips out,
♪♫ You put your hips in,
♪♫ You make tiny little circles,
♪♫ You do the boogie-boogie
♪♫ and you turn yourself around...
Capt. T'Met
Thank you, Vexoriana-Lyss'ra, but I had already memorized the movements. I still fail to see its purpose.
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
Grr..., Vulcans... All the same!
K'hoka Khol'a
Easy, Commander Tarsi. Take this, Captain T'Met. I think this hoop may suit you well for this exercise.
Capt. T'Met
What is the purpose of this circular object?
Cmdr. Angie Chen Number One
Oh yeah, I know that. It is a hula hoop. I had one when I was a kid. You spin it around your hips to coordinate your body's movements while avoiding letting it fall to the floor.
Capt. T'Met
It is primarily an exercise in rotation and balance maintenance. The difficulty lies in maintaining a constant speed.
Cmdr. Vexoriana-Lyss'ra Tarsi
Oh, come on, T'Met. Even with a toy, you find a way to treat it as a scientific experiment.
Capt. T'Met
Vexoriana-Lyss'ra, every activity can be analyzed from a scientific angle. However, I still fail to understand the intended effect on the Ferengi.
While T'Met practices with the hula hoop as we watch in amusement, the dressing room door opens slightly...
Col. Robert Gomard Army
Knock, knock. Ladies, I hope I am not disturbing you...
Capt. Agnes V. Rodriguez
What are you doing here? I told you to wait in the Galarium.
Col. Robert Gomard Army
Yes, but the one who just arrived will not wait long if you stay hidden here. There's some kind of big chimp with huge ears heading this way...
K'hoka Khol'a
The customer! Quick! Get backstage! I'll welcome him in the Galarium.
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